Just, How Attached Are You in Your Relationship? We live in a world that cares too much about what others think. We are sometimes more concerned with other people’s thoughts than our own. 10 Ways To Believe In Yourself Again When Life Gets Rough, How to Motivate Yourself: 13 Simple Ways to Try Now, 10 Reasons Why You’re Demotivated and How to Overcome It, 15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life, If You Think Love Is Always Uncontrollable, You Don’t Understand Love, 10 Reasons Why Growing Up Isn’t As Bad As You Think, Why The Key To Finding True Love Is Self-Love, Easily Misunderstood by Others? Isolation is dangerous for our mental health. Another way to stop caring about what other people think is to understand that there are three types of business in the world. Caring Too Much About What Others Think It seems we're guilty of this at every age. The first way is saying “yes” to just about everything, trying to anticipate what someone else wants, always being that go-to person and never really saying no to anything. For children, seeking outside validation is necessary, but for … If you want to lead a happy, calm, centered life, you’ve got to find a way to push past your brain’s hardwiring and focus on yourself. Seeking approval from others in our personal and business lives is not unusual. In fact, about 4 out of 5 processes going on in the background of your brain have to do with your relationships! Identify your standards and stick to them! Researchers say many people believe that others are thinking about them a … Are you subscribed to my podcast yet? 2. 4 Signs You Care Too Much About What Co-Workers Think ... Caring Too Much About What Co-Workers Think. We can become bold, we can do the will of God, we can become more confident, more extroverted, etc. Being accepted is a biological imperative so your brain is trained to care deeply about what others think about you. Brené Brown, a best-selling author on vulnerability whose TED Talk is one of the top five most viewed TED Talks in the world says that “not caring what people think is its own kind of hustle.” If you were thrown out of your clan or tribe, your chances of survival were nil. You might set intention before you meet with someone who particularly sways you! Don’t Let Others Get You Down. I’m going to take you through the 5 most common ways caring too much about what other people think shows up in your life and my top 5 strategies for dealing with each type of situation. It results in low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, anxiety, depression, rage and resentment. PPD causes you to be suspicious, distrusting, and hostile toward others. well it's not a psychological disorder. Anxiety is caring, a little too much. It’s the excessive worry that’s the problem. Caring What Other People Think ... How much someone cares about what others think depends—or should depend—on the nature of their relationship. All Rights Reserved. Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a long-term, mental health condition. It’s a win-win. You know you want to make your relationship awesome and getting a weekly reminder on specific ways to do just that is a perfect way to get there! That’s because you have to be prepared for others to judge you, too. Don’t get those two confused. Soon you’ll be living a happier and more fulfilling life because you stopped caring what others think. Mindfulness – keying in to how you feel in each moment so you can notice those feelings of resentment and numbness (yikes – you want to be numb or feel nothing around people you love?) Like many people, author and consultant Julien Smith has spent way too much time caring far too much about what other people think. Are you focused on getting the other person to understand you or “get” what you’re saying? #12 Find a release or vice. 3. Since the dawn of time, humans have depended on their relationships to survive. If you feel rejected or dismissed in any way, you think you need to change. Building a self-fulfilling prophecy, you are setting yourself up for caring too much and making yourself feel badly, which brings about insecurity. In fact, fear is like a cancer in relationships. Then ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do right now to move in that direction/to feel that way?” And then do that thing! The way to do this is to identify the negative feeling or feelings you’re having (which is what you don’t want) and then think of how you do want to feel. Reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Maybe you don’t like Alice at work, but then you found out she doesn’t like you so now you find yourself kissing her ass in an effort to get her to like you! Do you go after that same conversation over and over and feel so frustrated if you believe they don’t understand you or have the wrong impression of you? Does it feel like it doesn’t really mean much without that? Feel free to leave a comment below. 1. You may have trouble trusting or getting along with others. "And those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who could not hear the music." Own it! When you care what others think and you try too hard to get people to like you, they usually don’t because it’s written all over your face. Who are you trying to make happy? And even when they do seem to get you and maybe even compliment you, it doesn’t last? Today I’m going to teach you how to override your brain’s wiring. But you’ll get better at it, and your “I don’t care what others think” muscles will get stronger. So, because of this learned behavior, you probably go along with the popular opinion in order to please others and not cause any rifts. Nothing you want in any of your relationships. Anxiety:The Disorder of Caring Too Much. Caring about what others think too much..... - Anxiety Support ... One of my main problems I have found is listening to people's opinions and caring about what other people think too much. Today I’m going to teach you how to override your brain’s wiring. I’ve got posts devoted to building self-esteem and self-confidence that you’ll definitely want to check out if this feels like you. It’s impossible to hide. It's natural to care to some extent what others think, and it’s okay, to a point. This is because you think they want to hurt you or take advantage of you. If you felt confident about yourself and your decisions, if you respected yourself fully, you wouldn’t care quite so much what others were thinking about you. Here are 10 signs you worry too much about what other people think: 1. We want our loved one to be happy, to be safe and to thrive without harm. If you have low self-esteem, the chances are you worry too much about what other people think. Overestimating the Impact of Our Failures, Shortcomings, and Mishaps,”, REGRET SUCKS: THE 3-STEP PROCESS TO MAKE IT STOP, HOW TO STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, COPING WITH GRIEF AND LOSS: FROM BREAK UPS TO DEATH TO LOSING A JOB, 004 Self-Awareness is the Most Important Thing in Your Relationship, Top 8 Tips for Great Mornings (Even Though You Have Kids). There’s this feeling that the other person is missing something – they’re not seeing the real you – there’s a misunderstanding and you’ve got to make them see how fabulous you are and that they were mistaken. Bible verses about caring what others think I do not believe there is any way to fully stop caring what others think. Know this for what it is – ancient, outdated hard-wiring telling you that being rejected means death. So let’s get into those situations where you’re caring too much what someone else thinks about you and what to do instead: People pleasing shows up in 2 main ways. Do you always need to feel appreciated and have people comment? Again, you don’t care about or like this person but you are all up in their head! is what it’s all about! But nothing could be further from the reality. You question their thinking and motives constantly – it’s never enough! With this in mind, I would like to share some reminders about what to remember when you care too much about what others think of you. If you don’t feel like you did a good job unless someone else gives you praise or kudos, then you’re caring too much about what others think. You are trying to please everybody. Anxiety Isn’t About Worrying Too Much, But Caring Too Much, 10 Reasons Why People Are Unmotivated (And How to Be Motivated), 20 All-Time Best Motivational Books to Inspire You, 10 Practical Ways to Improve Time Management Skills. 6. Kenneth Savitsky, Nicholas Epley, and Thomas Gilovich, “Do Others Judge Us as Harshly as We Think? Stand your ground! Sometimes though, when our love enters the stifling territory in that we are smothering the other person with our love, concern and over-care – it makes us anxious. You focus almost exclusively on how others treat you. Caring too much about what other people think? Overestimating the Impact of Our Failures, Shortcomings, and Mishaps,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81, no. If you are going to say yes, think long and hard before giving your answer, and make sure that you’re going to be able to follow through. Is the other person’s happiness more important than your own? Unhealthy helping can doom others to be less than they’re capable of. ... caring too much about upsetting others, caring too much about their appearance, caring too much about others perceptions of them, caring too much about their job, caring too much about following rules and rituals, etc. Since they don’t have a well-developed inner compass, they rely heavily on how others react to them to know who they are. When you stop caring what others think, you will also stop being so judgmental towards other people. So when people come to me and they say, “I care way too much what people think,” my first response is you need to find something that matters more than what people think. We all love various people in our lives to varying degrees. This also means you care too much about what other people think. Caring what others think becomes a problem when we hyperfocus on their opinions — and let them override our own. Another common situation is to automatically change what you’re doing or saying if someone else gives any inkling that they don’t like it or don’t agree. I’m tempted to become critical when I think about them. The need to care for our partners, give them our all, and put their needs before our own, is something that is viewed as normal today. Very. Silencing your inner critic is only step one. The science. When we do this regularly, we send … 1 (2001): 44-56. It's very human to want to be liked. You need to appreciate you. You probably place too much value on other people’s opinions and overestimate how much they actually care. If you’re up for giving me some extra love, I’d be so very grateful if you’d leave me a review over on iTunes too (make iTunes a link). Not caring what other people think doesn’t mean not caring about anything at all. People with cluster B personality disorders (this includes borderline) have a very impaired sense of self. As I just mentioned, your brain is hard-wired to care what other people think. Your eyes, body language, the way you move, and the way you speak screams you lack self-esteem and you need approval. 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating, How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways), 31 Simple Ways to Free Your Mind Immediately, How To Stand Up For Yourself When You Need To, What Is the Barre Workout and How Much It Can Benefit You, Only 8% Of People Achieve Their New Year’s Goals, Here’s How To Be One Of Them. How to stop caring about what others think of you. Remember, your true friends and family won’t care that you have a different opinion than them, because two people can’t agree on everything all the time. I feel that if I can break this mindset I will feel a lot better but how to do it I don't know. Now, it’s important to clarify that there’s a difference between being really sensitive and having hyper-empathy syndrome. When you first start trying to ignore what others think, it will be hard. This is a lesson I learned from Byron Katie, and I love it. Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn. This comes from being conditioned to seek outside validation and approval. Stop Caring What Others Think by … Acknowledge your wins! If any of these things happen to you, may I suggest that you are caring too much–that you have forgotten your role in the change process: I’m tempted to become angry when a person does not change. The second way is the avoidance method. | Abby Medcalf, Why Your Lizard Brain is Keeping You Stuck and Specific Tools To Start Connecting | Abby Medcalf, 016 Why You Get Upset in Your Relationship | Abby Medcalfe, 015 9 Tips for Making Mornings Great (Even if you have Kids) | Abby Medcalfe, The Secret to Positive Thinking in All Your Relationships, Matthew D. Lieberman, “Social Cognitive Neuroscience: A Review of Core Processes,”, Kenneth Savitsky, Nicholas Epley, and Thomas Gilovich, “Do Others Judge Us as Harshly as We Think? Again, it’s OK to care what others think in a smaller way, but your own thoughts about yourself should be the predominant factor here! Saying "yes" to everything is more than just tiring, it could be a sign that you're too wrapped up in what other people think. As I just mentioned, your brain is hard-wired to care what other people think. Matthew D. Lieberman, “Social Cognitive Neuroscience: A Review of Core Processes,” Annual Review of Psychology 58 (January 2007): 259-289. Although we can compress it and we … There’s No Such Thing Called Failure. Don't waste more time on this useless habit in your 30s. The issue with this is when we try to win everyone over, we are choosing to value their opinion over our own. Each person is going to have a baseline opinion on you, according to the chemistry of your personalities and values and their prejudices. Your real life is somewhere else. 1. I'll explain why in a moment, but first let's look at some signs that you worry too much what others think … Basically, you want to be left alone and not deal with any real feelings or conflicts, so you bite your tongue and withdraw. If you enjoyed this story, please click the button and share to help others find it! Feel it! It’s human nature to want to be liked and respected, but how much you care about what others think is up to you. People who worry a lot about what other people think will devote too much of their time trying to please everybody. But if you betray yourself to get people to like you, that causes problems that are at least as bad if not worse. But that hard-wiring is ALL fear-based, not love-based, and fear never helps your relationships. I’m tempted to gossip about them to others. If I knew a wise man, I think he would say, “you define you.” It’s a certain sign of insecurity to soak up your identity from what the world tells you about yourself. I’m going to take you through the 5 most common ways caring too much about what other people think shows up in your life and my top 5 strategies for dealing with each type of situation. Caring What Others Think Makes People Not Like You. it's a personal state in which you find yourself unbalanced, always looking outward for approval, self-worth etc. They will consider some people not well-enough educated, or from the wrong background, or too … When speaking about The Wendy Syndrome, many people think that the description given by popular psychology is somewhat outdated and typical of past generations (of our mothers and grandmothers).. It doesn’t take Freud to figure out that this all boils down to self-esteem. But in a world where we live so much of our lives online, the approval of others is more and more relevant. Do you need other people to acknowledge what you do? If you do something, and no one acknowledges it, did it really happen? How 5 Minutes of Mindfulness a Day Will Make Your Relationship Great, How to Create Resilient Relationships So You Can Feel Ease, Joy, and Connection, You’ve Got to Have High Standards and Low Expectations, The Secret to Positive Thinking in All Your Relationships (Calibration), 8 Ways to Build Your Confidence and Self-Esteem. Write down a win daily. Some people may have the counter argument that they don’t want to be considered an “asshole”. Therefore, people with too much empathy, or hyper-empathy, who show a persistent pattern of distress and inability to function in their social, personal, and professional lives, show signs of a personality disorder. Well, what are you waiting for? --- Perceptions of Do Not Care Society but We all Care too Much and Stop Caring by Saying I Do Not Care --- Caring is repairing, upkeep, and maintenance. That’s the problem.
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